Bolstering your Skills With Music
I was recently traveling in the car with my 4-year-old daughter. I had rushed from work to get my daughter from school, went to quickly pick up a birthday present at the store, and then scurried off to the birthday party. I was thinking over the workday and just wanted to get to “point C.” But, My daughter?
“Mama, can you open the window?… The air feels so nice…. Look a river!”
She was in the moment. She was practicing mindfulness, and so effortlessly! I paused, rolled down my window, and felt the breeze too. I thought for a moment: “Why don’t I think to do this. Why is my mind always running to the next thing or mulling over what was…”
Did I lose this skill along the way? Have I simply not prioritized the practice as my responsibilities increased with time and the complexity of adult life? More often than not, I allow hurrying to win me over. How about you? I know one thing, I want to grow back into mindfulness, I want to model this to my child, and I don’t want to set a standard of hurrying in my life.
Did you know there is such a thing as hurrying sickness!? It’s not an actual medical condition, but it is a hot topic of discussion in psychology. An article by Janelle Cox entitled “How to Recognize Hurrying Sickness and Adopt Slow Living” defines hurrying sickness as feeling chronically rushed with a sense of “urgency to get things done when there is no need.” (https://psychcentral.com/anxiety/always-in-a-rush-maybe-its-time-urgency#symptoms)
I bet most adults in this age have experienced a feeling awfully close to this from time to time, especially during prolonged periods of busyness/stress. The key is to utilize techniques to help prevent this from becoming a chronic behavior pattern and its symptoms from slipping into our daily lives:
● Rushing through tasks
● Feeling irritable when there’s a delay
● Interrupting or talking over people
● Running through your “to-do list” in your head
● Treating everything like a race
● Always feeling behind schedule
● Continuously multi-tasking
● Always having a sense of urgency
● Fatigue
● Headaches
● Low-immune system
(https://psychcentral.com/anxiety/always-in-a-rush-maybe-its-time-urgency#symptoms)
On the other side of the ring, mindfulness is a skill of drawing yourself into awareness of the moment, pausing to survey your thoughts/feelings and your immediate environment objectively. In this space, you can assess your needs in order to provide self-care, prioritize what needs to get done, and set helpful and healthful boundaries. Janelle Cox identifies these as helpful strategies to fight against “hurrying sickness”.
(https://psychcentral.com/anxiety/always-in-a-rush-maybe-its-time-urgency#symptoms)
Great, but how can I possibly slow down when the sense to “go, go, go!” screams louder than the voice of reason?! First, remember that mindfulness is a practice, it is a skill to be developed with application over time. Allow yourself time to create and modify strategies that work for you and certainly do not make it a check-box on a to-do list. Secondly, find ways to naturally incorporate it into your day. Easier said than done? Try using music to ground and bolster your practice. Here are some suggestions below.
1) Set intention:
Music is a catalyst that evokes powerful emotions and can also be paired with lyrics you identify with. Is there a song (instrumental or w/ singing/lyrics) that speaks to you and the space you want to be in daily? Put it on repeat, play it near the beginning of your day, and pull it out when you feel you have lost your center. You can even stop and simply recall it in your mind and take some breaths without even pushing play.
“Follow the Sun” by Xavier Rudd is one example, but your preferred music is what will work best for you.
2) Pace yourself:
Music is structured and organized in time; its tempo, rhythms, and layers of complexity can establish a pace for you and help keep you on beat. This could be to set a tone to complete your task within, physically moving with a tempo that prevents you from rushing and fumbling through a task or using specific music/songs as touch-points throughout your day.
3) Prioritize and prompt yourself:
Make time for mindfulness. Music can be your gentle yet prominent cue to pause and practice mindfulness. With technology at our fingertips, it is easy to set a timer in our phones and select a song as our pleasing alarm. Is there a time in your day when you can anticipate the urgency to rush rise? Set your musical timer and pause before you step into that part of your day. Is there a time in the day when there is space to practice mindfulness, and you need the reminder so you don’t busy yourself through it? Set your musical timer to alert you to prioritize that space for mindfulness.
4) “But I’m so..”?… Use “iso”
When your body is in that rushed state, stepping into mindfulness is not easy. “I’m so anxious”, “I’m so busy,” “I’m so amped up,” “I’m so irritable,”… “I can’t right now.” Guess what, completing the task probably won’t get you where you need to go, there is always another bullet on the list. In these moments, utilizing the “iso” principle with music can be a way to tune into your current state and gradually dial it where you need to go. Planning ahead and having a prepared playlist empower you with a tool that can have the positive impact you need to get you out of the gear you’re stuck in. Try doing the following:
- Identify your starting emotion and your desired ending emotion
- Think of music as your gradient between them
- Pick five points evenly spaced along that gradient (you can even name the emotion for each point)
- Select five songs for each point
- Listen to them sequentially as the music waltzes you to your goal
- Alter your playlist as you explore and discover what works for you
5) Music within Mindfulness
Maybe you need some music playing during your mindfulness practice. Instrumental music may be especially helpful. Find something that allows you to feel free to pause, draw awareness to your breath and body, and allow you space to hear your thoughts as they pass and use your senses to take in what surrounds you.
6) Self-Care, Prioritize and Set Boundaries
Music can be a tool for these strategies as well. Put your favorite music on or a song that makes you smile, dance it out or soak in relaxing music as a means of self-care. What are your main priorities in life? I bet there is a song with that sentiment; your anthem? Find it and play it when you are tempted to pile up your to-dos and lose your intent. Maybe you could use a song to help you say “no” or empower you to stay true to you? Find it and play it, then hear it in your mind’s ear when you need to quickly empower yourself in the moment to set a boundary.
In the arena of our daily lives, let’s declare mindfulness the winner. Practice it and strengthen it, so it can knock hurrying right out of the ring! Try using music as your tool and guide in your practice. Remember, it takes a little thoughtfulness and preparation, but taking the time to use music to set yourself up for success could make all the difference in your journey.
