Music can be a powerful tool to expand your regulation toolbox. It has a unique ability to use different qualities simultaneously to reach our emotions and change them. Many people use music to express themselves, whether through creation or consumption. However, how do you use it intentionally to elicit a specific response? How do you use music to move yourself from one emotional state to another?
One way can be to build your playlist, using the music you listen to daily.
Regulating Emotions
Validating your emotions is just as crucial as regulating them.
After all, how are you expected to change your emotional state if you don’t acknowledge where you are?
The truth is that emotions don’t have a moral compass; they are not good or bad. So why do we focus on the “positive” emotions when we think about using music to regulate?
Regulating at its core means meeting yourself or someone else where they are emotionally and guiding them to a place of balance. Validating is acknowledging your emotions without judgment.
Building the Playlist
First, find songs representing different emotions: sadness, anger, loss, grief, happiness, and calm. Music as a whole will also validate different feelings for other people. There’s no right or wrong here. Music is personal. A song that feels grounding for one person might feel unsettling for another. The power lies in how it connects to your emotional experience.
To start, define the emotion you are currently feeling. Next, think about the desired emotion that you would like to be feeling. Now that you have defined the emotion you are currently feeling, find a song that matches that emotion for you. For example, if you are feeling angry and you would like to feel calm, you can find songs that start with that feeling of anger and gradually move into a “less angry” sound, shifting into a more pleasant sound that finishes with a song that represents a state of calm. You can put as many songs into this process as you need.
Sometimes it can be validating enough to sit in your current emotional state. When listening to the songs, think about why they make you feel a certain way. Is it the rhythm, melody, or lyrics? Does it remind you of something or someone? Intentionally think about the music as you listen.
Now it’s up to you. Make a playlist that validates the whole spectrum of emotions, or make playlists for each emotion, whatever you choose. Before you press play, ask yourself, “What am I feeling right now?” and let the music meet you there.
I understand that this can be an intimidating task and if you are finding yourself lost or want some guidance, you can always reach out to a Music Therapist or below is a resource that I have personally used made by a fellow MT-BC. There are also other resources on the internet similar to this.
Self-Regulation Playlist Worksheet | The Mental Health Coalition
